Baptism by fire

As the title aptly puts it work at Fleishman-Hillard has been nothing short of a trial by fire and as far as I can tell, thats probably the best way to go about it. Trust me, there are days, ok, most days where I have no damn clue as to what I'm doing and usually feel like a useless ass that doesn't belong there. But, I try my best to learn on the fly and as my new student orientation training has taught me anything, it's "Fake it until you make it." That said, work there has been one of the more enlightening and good experiences that I have done thus far in my life. I know that the information I take away from this will ultimately help me in the long run.

Whilst this experience has been good on the work front it has also been eye-opening in another.

On top of being egregiously poor I have been surprised at the fact that Australian culture is not one that is easily broken into and the ability to make friends in this city has been infinitely more difficult than I originally thought. It's not to say that I haven't done my best to be social and to 'put myself out there,' because I have many times in many different ways. It's the fact that every time it has failed miserably and its now to the point where after a month of being in this country my ambition to keep trying as lessened.

It honestly feels like being the new kid at school that no one really want's to get to know, and no matter how much you try it doesn't seem to work.

Albeit I do hang out with the people at work from time to time but those moments are sprinkled amongst the vast loneliness that has become my daily existence here.

It's weird for me to think that my life has two sides that polar opposites of each other. One Is a greatly mentally stimulating, sometimes stressful, not knowing what the hell I'm doing work life and the other is a personal life that is void of any social interaction, love or happiness.

Sometime I think it would be nice to not only meet a friend but to meet someone who enjoyed my company as much as I enjoyed theirs. Someone that I could talk to, about anything and someone who accepted me for the good and the bad.

Day by day I have realized the choice and experience of moving here has not only been one of the more culturally enriching, eye-opening, great learning experiences I've ever had, it's also been one of, if not the most lonely time's in my life.

I suppose there isn't much I can do about it other than keep my head up and keeping trying, but, if I'm honest, I don't really want to anymore.

Daily Grind

Well sort of anyway,

My first day as a Fleishman-Hillard intern was today and honestly it wasn't what I expected. The 22 minute walk from my new illustrious digs this morning was filled with a flood of anxiousness that I've rarely experienced in my short life. So much so that my eagerness to not be late on my first day landed me in the lobby of 137 Pyrmont street almost 35 min ahead of schedule, better to be early than late the creed goes. As the elevator rose to level one my expectations...ok let's be honest, I had no damn clue as to what to expect. The only thing I kept saying to myself as the elevator slowly crept up my destination was please don't let me be stuck in a cubicle entrapped in some sterile corporate environment boxed in by taupe covered walls and agency drones who are out to perpetually destroy any creativity that may rear it's hopeful, open-minded head.

Well my dear friends that was sorely not the case. As I pushed open the massive glass swivel doors into a warm, converted loft with virtually no walls to speak of and a massive lime green sign that stated Fleishman-Hillard my worries started to fade. Then I was greeted by a woman named laura who with the not only knew who I was without me saying anything and who had a smile that I was immediately comforted by. After a small introduction to the few people that were there (considering my getting there ridiculously early) I found myself in a meeting with Laura and Meredith Lil who as it turns out is second in charge of this whole shin-dig.

As the meeting went on two realizations happened within me, 1. I was way over dressed (suit and tie) and would learn that the corporate culture here is very laid back, relaxed, open and that teamwork is key which is my kind of place. 2. I was going to be put to work today. Now not that I had any expectations as far as what I was going to be doing but I didn't realize that I was going to start working on client accounts within my first two hours. Let me tell you, for someone who has little to know public relations experience this is a little overwhelming and I was having one of those pull at your collar and grit your teeth moments if I'm honest. But the Meredith told me point blank, "Relax, we know you know nothing and your here to soak it up so don't worry about it." Now this being an internship and all I know that they know that I know...nothing. But actually hearing her say that made me feel a lot better and wanted to get down to it.

The bulk of my day was spent setting up my network account, applying for a TFN, setting up email and actually starting work on a Johnson and Johnson account and if I'm honest, I LOVED it. The sheer number of different things to work on on just one account was both overwhelming and exciting at the same time. I love the fact that no one account is the same nor are the tasks involved. The more and more I started to understand what my tasks were the more and more I liked it and even though this was only the first day I can already tell this is something I want to do for a living.

Before I knew it the day was done already (fastest day of work I've ever had). I know that in the coming months there will be days that are stressful and that will try my patience but as it stands right now this should be one hell of a learning experience that I can't went to dive head first into. And I think that with a supportive environment with all the down-to-earth, easy going, egregiously intelligent people that I work with (All 13 of them) I stand absolutely nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Killin' Time

Currently I am sitting just about three and a half hours south of Sydney in the capital city of Canberra in the ACT (Australian Capital Territory). The reason for the trip further south was to escape the hustle and bustle of Sydney and to see some friends that I have down here. So far the trip has been uneventful with sprinkles of annoyances which have more to do with certain people here rather than experiences. But, nonetheless I will be back in Sydney by the end of the week with the direct objective of finding my way around and some self reflection.

I have a place to live now which is a bit off my plate and a relief that I have a place where I can go to rest my head, take a nap, watch a movie, whatever floats my boat really, and that to me, is priceless.

I found out today that work starts this upcoming tuesday which is great but I am still a little lost as to what I will be doing on a day to day basis, in due time this will become very apparent. I'm just hoping I don't screw up which is a natural feeling at this point in the game.

I can't help but feel a little discouraged in the fact that once one thing on "my list" of things to do gets taken off, it is replaced by something that is more significant in terms of the stress it comes with and the difficulty it has to accomplish being oh, 9,000 miles away. I'm doing my best to stay positive and take things as they come but at the same time I cannot shift the weight that these hurdles bear on me and how that stresses me out.

It also doesn't help I haven't had decent nights sleep in a week and am craving watching a movie whilst falling asleep ( a favourite pastime of mine). Soon enough...soon enough

Be back soon.

Landed in a land down under

I come from a land down under...wait thats not right, I mean, not to quote the men at work song but I'm "in" a land down under finally.

After eh, 26 hours or so of constant traveling I am finally in Sydney. I am currently in a hotel with my mom who decided to meet me down here and my friend Louise who lives here full-time. The first plan of attack is to A. enjoy the city and soak up some of the sights and B. solidify a place to live which if I'm honest has been the bain of my existence for over two months now. That said I have an appointment to check out a place this afternoon and with any luck (fingers crossed) this will be the end of my search.

Now that I'm here my trepidation about the whole situation is still very apparent and I still feel very hesitant about this whole on a few levels. Im afraid that I won't do a good job even though I know I will pick it up as i go along. I suppose I'm more worried and stressed about other things. Things that are slightly out my control but that occupy my mind nonetheless. Cest la vie I suppose.

Ever had that overwhelming feeling of being in a new place on the cusp of something new a significant but at the same time your mind is selfishly somewhere else? That's about where Im at now and I realize that sounds maybe pathetic or pedantic but unfortunately it's currently the dominant theme at the moment. My hope is that the longer I'm here and the more that I'm busy the quicker certain things will take a back seat in the priority list of my mind.

Anyway as I sit here sipping my koh-hee (J460 people will know what I'm talking about) and looking out on Hyde park and my day is about to begin I'm overwhelmed with the sense of anxiety and wonderment at the same time trying my best to carry some optimism into the next few days.

I know that in time things will smooth out and the things that are "supposed to happen will happen." Time to just give it some time to get adjusted into a rhythm. As Bob Marley said, everything's going to be alright.

Later.

Is this really happening??

So I'm told (by reputable sources of course) that it's best to be honest and vent how you feel, right?

OK, here goes...

WHAT IN THE HELL AM I DOING!!???

Ok, vented, out of the way.

I'm sitting in the Indianapolis airport having well, lets be honest a sub-par meal and I can't help but sit here and dwell on the fact that my journey to Sydney begins in oh, 35 minuets or so and if I'm honest (as I'm told its best to do) it scares the living crap out of me. Not only is this a massive change that snuck up on me quicker than a fit ninja in the night but it adds to the the stress that is already crowding the limited space that is my mind.

let me give you a rundown of the the events that have preceded this point if I may.

The stress of moving to a foreign country albeit exciting, terrifies me for the simple fact that despite my best efforts I still cannot find a damn place to live. There is also the teeny tiny fact that I don't know if I'm coming back to IU to finish my education. This fact by itself stressed me to the point of no sleep. Adding to this already magical amalgam of fun is that if it wasn't hard enough to say goodbye to the people that have made the biggest impact on me I had to say goodbye to someone yesterday that I was not ready to let go of. Someone who has made a huge, positive impact and is someone that I had the pleasure of getting to know and who turned an otherwise cool and calm person into a 15 year old blithering idiot ( in a good way of course).

Needless to say the last 72 hours have been...interesting at best but they haven't been without good times and at least a little self reflection.

Now that I am about to board my first of many flights in my 26 hour journey around the world my mood is hesitant at best. Trust me I'm fully aware of the fact that this opportunity to live in Sydney and work with Fleishman-Hillard is once in a lifetime. I also know that it will do wonders for me in terms of a future career as well as expanding my somewhat limited knowledge of the public relations world as well as being oh I don't know...one hell of an experience. Again, trust me, I know what this opportunity is and what it will bring but that doesn't mean that my mind and heart aren't somewhere else at this very moment. Thats not to say that I'm not going to do my best and dive into this experience head first and soak up as much of it that I can.

That said, I am going to board the flight bound for the ever illustrious Dallas Fort Worth for a four hour layover, exciting stuff I know.

Be back soon...