As the title aptly puts it work at Fleishman-Hillard has been nothing short of a trial by fire and as far as I can tell, thats probably the best way to go about it. Trust me, there are days, ok, most days where I have no damn clue as to what I'm doing and usually feel like a useless ass that doesn't belong there. But, I try my best to learn on the fly and as my new student orientation training has taught me anything, it's "Fake it until you make it." That said, work there has been one of the more enlightening and good experiences that I have done thus far in my life. I know that the information I take away from this will ultimately help me in the long run.
Whilst this experience has been good on the work front it has also been eye-opening in another.
On top of being egregiously poor I have been surprised at the fact that Australian culture is not one that is easily broken into and the ability to make friends in this city has been infinitely more difficult than I originally thought. It's not to say that I haven't done my best to be social and to 'put myself out there,' because I have many times in many different ways. It's the fact that every time it has failed miserably and its now to the point where after a month of being in this country my ambition to keep trying as lessened.
It honestly feels like being the new kid at school that no one really want's to get to know, and no matter how much you try it doesn't seem to work.
Albeit I do hang out with the people at work from time to time but those moments are sprinkled amongst the vast loneliness that has become my daily existence here.
It's weird for me to think that my life has two sides that polar opposites of each other. One Is a greatly mentally stimulating, sometimes stressful, not knowing what the hell I'm doing work life and the other is a personal life that is void of any social interaction, love or happiness.
Sometime I think it would be nice to not only meet a friend but to meet someone who enjoyed my company as much as I enjoyed theirs. Someone that I could talk to, about anything and someone who accepted me for the good and the bad.
Day by day I have realized the choice and experience of moving here has not only been one of the more culturally enriching, eye-opening, great learning experiences I've ever had, it's also been one of, if not the most lonely time's in my life.
I suppose there isn't much I can do about it other than keep my head up and keeping trying, but, if I'm honest, I don't really want to anymore.
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